A DSH’s List

Things to do while holding stuff during marathon training of spouse/partner, i.e. a Designate Stuff Holder:

Cheer for other runners.

Take a banana for my wife so those freaky elite runners don’t eat ’em all first.

Contemplate the nature of reality.

Contemplate contemplation.



Write Blogs.

Re-write blogs.

Delete blogs.

Walk around.

Listen to math-metal and zone out only to realize your “zoned out and listening to math-metal” face is off-putting to those around you.

Reassure yourself that you’re “okay with not running because I do other stuff”.

Update your MP3 library.

Imagine an argument with someone with opposite political/religious/philosophical views.

Find an isolated spot along the route and sing out loud with your headphones on.

Realize what you should have said to that imaginary jerk you lost an imaginary argument to.

Think about all the things you’re going to do when you get home.

Plan out how you’re going to do all those things in half the time because you know you’ll take a nap anyway.

Try to avoid that weird guy with the dog.

Pet weird guy’s dog.

Wonder what the cops think about me being parked in the university parking lot at 5am.

Realize the cops don’t even see me.

Make faces when the cops pass.

Most of all, just give support when your spouse finally comes around that turn.



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